10 Ways To Make Everything Easier For Your Children

  • Let your children know that you love them and make sure that your actions prove it.
  • Encourage your children to respect and love their other parent. Speak in positive terms about each other. Be civil when talking to each other.
  • Be careful not to burden them with your problems and avoid sharing all of your worries. They are still children and should be treated as such. Try and find an adult shoulder to lean on.
  • Try to agree with your ex on the ground rules for parenting including bedtime, discipline, homework etc. If the children can live by the same set of rules in both homes then it makes it easier on them. If the ex however doesn’t parent as you do then do not undermine them or step in unless the situation is unsafe.
  • Make sure your children have their own place or space if at all possible in your new home. If finances permit, allow them to have a say on the decoration etc. They need to feel comfortable in both homes.
  • Do not use your children as go-betweens or prevent your ex from seeing the children as a way of punishing them or the ex or in an attempt to force some kind of action i.e. payment of child maintenance. Denying time with the ex as leverage is damaging to the child.
  • Keep your promises. If you tell them you are going to do something together, do it. If you have to change your plans, give your children and the other parent as much notice as possible and try and rearrange. Feeling that they can depend on spending time with you on a regular basis is very important.
  • Avoid introducing new partners too soon. Children may resent you spending time with new people too soon or feel threatened by their presence. It is best to wait until your children are more comfortable with this. Don’t introduce them to partners you have just met. Make sure that you are in a stable relationship first.
  • Create a stable and predictable routine for your children. Maintain as many routines, rules and traditions from your past family life as you can. They need as much consistency as they can get when everything else around them is changing.
  • Avoid conflict. Do not argue with your ex in front of your children.